Imagine you go up to talk to a bird, you’ve recited lines in your head so you think you’re good, you try and chat to her, but you fold under the pressure.
Pfff couldn’t be me, kidding this was me 5 years ago.
Your life like everyone else’s revolves around you and the decisions you make, so deciding you want to change to be the person that people are excited to see is your choice.
You choose if you still want to be the awkward geezer still sitting in the corner of the club at age 37, and that’s the beauty of life.
Each and every single one of us 8 billion people on this earth has our own unique identity.
Know Who You Are:
But if you don’t know who you truly are you’ll never be able to embrace that, and you’ll never be able to use your unique attributes to your advantage.
I could tell you to do a bunch of habits to change yourself, but most external habits don’t change who you really are at your core.
So embracing your unique attributes comes from knowing thyself, but most of you won’t know yourselves, so this means you’ll need to create your identity.
And it’s all up to you, you choose who you want to be and mold yourself into the person you want to be through changing your self-image and how you view yourself. Which means you need to be doing 2 things; first is positive self talk and reaffirming the new beliefs that you want to hardwire into your system, and second is through action and backing up your positive self talk with direction and purpose.
Knowing yourself also develops from spending time alone, to understand yourself, and putting yourself in different situations, because you won’t know yourself unless you know how you handle uncomfortable scenarios. So if you don’t like how you behave in a situation use self awareness to assess yourself to change how you behave next time.
But you won’t be able to do this if you don’t lose the fear of offending people.
Lose The Fear of Offending / Speak Your Authentic Truth:
“If someone’s a friend of everybody, they are an enemy to themselves.” — Mike Tyson
Don’t be afraid to offend people, if you’re living your authentic truth and expressing your authentic beliefs you’re going to offend people, people aren’t going to like some things you say or the tone of voice that you speak in and that’s fine.
Trying to pander to everyone means the relationships you do build are only gonna be weak and surface level.
So stop walking on eggshells, show your personality, don’t be scared to say what you want to say, if people don’t like you for that who gives a toss, there are people out there that will like you for the authentic version of you.
Everyone has a personality deep down inside, we’ve all been through at least something small that’s developed our character a little bit, but it’s your choice whether you want to embrace that or show a side of you that you’re only pretending to be.
Which brings me to the final point, that is develop your character through experience.
Experience / Trials & Tribulations:
The biggest developer of personality is experience, sometimes we have to mess up to learn that it isn’t the right way, so that we can correct ourselves.
And through the trials and tribulations you get callused to aspects of life.
I used to hate working out when I first started, but after enough times of forcing myself to go because I knew working out had a positive impact on my life, the gym became easy.
So if we apply this to socializing and developing your personality, do what you need to do until it feels like second nature to you, go out and talk to more people, go put yourself in random experiences that will help you develop your character.
Because nothing is going to change who you are at your core like putting the field work in and enduring the different difficulties of life, it will build your confidence and it will give you stories to tell people so you can spark conversation.
